Recent Quotes

Obviously these weren't all directed at me:

• Lisa, you can't do the mash pit, your're wearing a scarf.
• You look like a black sausage in that suit.
• I know that dog is man's best friend and I can prove it. I put my 2 dogs in the trunk of my car, along with my lovely wife and locked them in for 2 hours. When I returned and opened the trunk, the dogs were really happy to see me.
• I love Tom, he is my greatest supporter.
• That's why I love riding bikes with the ladies. The second it gets warm they all start taking their tops off.